Aim(less)

She gives no thought to the way of life; her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it.

Proverbs 5:6, NIV

This was me. I wasted more than 30 years wandering aimlessly through life, comfort eating, stress eating and blaming my ginormous sized sweet tooth and busy life for my poor food choices. My path, littered with junk food wrappers, usually lead straight to the drive thru line. The proof I was not on “the way of life:” I was over 200 pounds and very unhealthy, not just in body but in mind, too. I had no self confidence or self worth. I was utterly ashamed of myself.

I might have been wandering, but I wasn’t completely lost. I had great, loving parents who raised me in church. I accepted Jesus as a child and was baptized at age 10. Surrounded by great friends, I graduated high school and college. I married my beloved, my high school sweetheart, who gave me much love and acceptance. I earned my master’s degree and gave birth to my firstborn. We experienced difficulty when trying to conceive our second child and this was when my true relationship with Jesus developed. I got to know Him on a personal level and all the things I had learned about God and Jesus growing up became very real. By God’s grace we did have a second child and then by an absolute outpouring of God’s grace, a third soon after! Not long after that, something awakened in me and I finally yearned for “the way of life.” I now knew I was never going to live the abundant life Jesus promised wandering aimlessly as I had been. I started leaning on God’s strength and not my own. I started asking for His help with temptation (and really meaning it). He answered. Day by day, I started making better choices and losing weight. Slowly and surely God transformed me! During that time, I lost 75 pounds and gained confidence and purpose. I eventually became what I never dreamed I could or ever would be- a runner! One step at a time, I finished a minute of running, then a whole block length, then an excruciatingly long mile, then a 5k and eventually, almost exactly 4 years ago, a half marathon! It is no understatement to say, from where I’d been, finishing 13.1 miles could have only been a work of God!

Since then, I’ve had to actually keep walking the walk, and the times I’ve wandered away have been my own doing. I’ve gotten off the path, lost sight of my purpose and suffered for it. I’ve gotten back on the path and wandered off again more times than I’d like to admit in the past few years. This path became even more difficult to navigate when trying to get back in shape after our fourth little miracle’s arrival a little over a year ago!

Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly…1 Corinthians 9:26, NIV

This is me now. I’m determined to be aimless no longer, to strive daily to be healthy in body and mind, to walk (and hopefully run) in “the way of life,” with faith and purpose. I’m here to share my struggles and victories along the way. I’m not here to say “if I can do it, anyone can do it.” Instead, I want to be an example of: if He can do it in me, He can do it in anyone. I just want to be a sheep in some running shoes.

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